Why I Didn’t Post the Back-to-School Pictures

Sometimes the story behind the picture matters more than getting it posted.

I didn’t post my boys’ obligatory back-to-school pictures this week.

I had every intention of doing it. We even took the pictures.

But the wind was blowing, my 16-year-old didn’t like what it was doing to his hair, and I somehow forgot that I’d deleted the Facebook app from my phone to free up storage.

So, clearly, we were off to a strong start. 🤓

But the real reason those pictures are still sitting on my phone doesn’t have much to do with hair or Facebook.

My 13-year-old had a disappointing first day of eighth grade.

Nothing catastrophic happened. It was simply one of those days when reality doesn’t quite live up to what you had hoped it would be.

And if you’ve ever raised a 13-year-old—or been one—you probably remember how easily one bad day can feel like a Very Big Deal.

By that evening, posting smiling pictures of my boys with a cheerful FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! caption just didn’t feel very authentic. So I didn’t.

Instead, we took our 16-year-old to youth night at church, and Jeremy and I went out to eat with our eighth grader. Nothing fancy. Just a fun restaurant, good food, and some time with Mom and Dad.

We spent the evening listening to and talking about a bunch of nothing and everything. And somewhere between the disappointment and dinner, the first day of eighth grade started feeling a little less disastrous.

By the time we got home, I still hadn’t posted the pictures.

And I didn’t really care.

I think this is one of the funny things about motherhood.

When my kids were little, the first-day-of-school pictures felt like part of the ritual.

New school supplies. New clothes. Fresh haircuts. Everyone lined up for the annual picture so I could document exactly who was starting which grade. (Because, my friend, WE are homeschoolers who track grades. But I digress.)

I’m glad I took those pictures.

But motherhood in this season feels different. The milestones are still there, but so much of what matters now happens where no one else can see it.

It’s noticing when the kid who says he’s fine actually isn’t.

It’s knowing when to give advice and when to just listen. (Still learning to do this well.)

It’s helping a teenager understand that a bad day isn’t necessarily a bad year.

It’s taking one son where he wants to go and then making space for the other one who needs you a little more that night.

And sometimes it’s letting the cute pictures sit in your camera roll because tending to the life happening behind them feels more important.

Maybe I’ll eventually post our back-to-school pictures. The 16-year-old will probably need to approve the hair situation first. 😏 Or maybe they’ll simply stay on my phone this year.

Either way, my youngest boys started 11th and eighth grade this week. One of them had a pretty good first day. One of them didn’t.

We took the pictures anyway.

And then we went and lived the rest of the story.

I think I like that version better.

Veritas et Gratia,
Kristy 💐