Rest Was Never Meant to Be the Last Thing
A gentle reminder for women in ministry: rest is a necessary rhythm, not a reward.
We don’t hand out gold stars for rest.
But sometimes, I wonder if that’s exactly what we’re waiting for—the permission slip that says, “You’ve worked hard enough. You can stop now.”
If you’re a woman in ministry, you already know what it means to carry an invisible load.
You show up: on Sundays, in hospital rooms, across tables in coffee shops.
You hold space for others while pushing your own needs to the side.
You make things happen without asking for help.
You give without keeping score.
But here’s the hard truth: most of us are burning out not because we don’t love the work, but because we’ve bought into a lie that we have to earn our rest.
We’ve been taught—subtly or outright—that rest is a reward: something that comes after the work is done, after everyone else is helped, after we’ve proven ourselves faithful, useful, sacrificial.
But ministry never ends.
The list never finishes.
The needs never disappear.
And that kind of thinking? It keeps us stuck on a loop of depletion.
Why Rest Feels Out of Reach
I know, rest sounds good in theory.
But what does a break even look like when your budget is tight, your kids are arguing, and there’s still one more casserole to make for someone else’s crisis?
I’m not talking about a spa weekend or an empty calendar.
I’m talking about ten minutes behind a closed door.
A slow breath before the next thing.
A simple night out with your family.
A long walk.
A short no.
One kind, quiet moment that reminds you: you’re human too.
I hear the same needs showing up again and again:
I need a break.
Some help or encouragement would be nice.
I need time alone.
I’d love a date with my husband or a family trip.
I wish someone would ask me how I’m really doing—and actually listen.
My friend, these aren’t extravagant asks.
They’re basic human needs.
But for a lot of us in ministry, they feel out of reach.
So what if you didn’t have to earn your break?
What if rest wasn’t the treat at the end, but part of the rhythm?
What if it’s not selfish to need space?
You were never meant to serve from burnout. Faithfulness doesn’t mean running yourself into the ground.
A prayer for the woman who’s waiting for permission to rest:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Today I’m praying especially for the one who doesn’t know how to stop;
always been the strong one, the dependable one;
would You remind her today that rest isn’t selfish,
and it’s not quitting.
It’s how You created us to live.
Help her believe that holy work starts in stillness, not striving.
Pull up the lies that say she has to do more to matter.
Let her breathe deep again.
Let her feel You near.
Remind her she doesn’t have to hold it all together, because You already are.
And help her see that rest doesn’t have to look like a vacation or a day off.
Sometimes it’s just getting a quiet minute without guilt.
Sometimes, that’s all she can manage—and that’s okay.
Thank You for meeting us in our place of need.
Help us remember that You’re not asking us to do it all—
just to walk with You as we do what we can.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
You Don’t Have to Earn It
This week, try asking yourself:
“Where am I pushing through instead of pausing?”
“What needs have I buried under busyness?”
“What if receiving care is a necessary part of ministry, not a distraction from it?”
This week, may your “break” be small but real: A long shower. A laugh. A no you didn’t apologize for.
You don’t need a permission slip.
You’ve already been invited to rest.
Veritas et gratia,
Kristy 💐
P.S. If you’re a woman in ministry who’s longing for a space where you can be real, you’re invited to join our private Facebook group: The Honest Pastor’s Wife.
There’s room for you there! I’ll see you inside the community.